coffee and cigarettes ` open

[elliot]

* I sit alone in the basement,

FACING, CHASING THESE WICKED DEMONS.

______________

Elli had been for a lack of things to do that night. No obscene party invitations, or readily available blunts were available to him at that very moment in time. The boy was currently walking down the streets, hands were shoved roughly into the pockets of his fairly snug jeans. He didn't really like being alone, or free to think. His mind would always return like clockwork to his dreary past, which caused him to worry and panic all over again, rendering all the blackouts and numb stupors completely useless. Images were hitting his head now; why didn't he have anything to do? Why didn't he go someplace before, a store even? He felt dizzy on his feet as the boy remembered his brothers touch, his heavy hands traveling down his chest, lips dotting his throat, making him squirm, how his body reacted when his mind told him how wrong it was. How he didn't want his dick to get so fucking hard, but...he didn't ask for it, he didn't want his brother touching him places, he wasn't all in the wrong, was he? "stop it!" Elli suddenly shrieked, letting his fist fly aimlessly into a brick wall idling nearby. His cheeks colored red at a few bystanders who stopped short to look and turned his head away.

He let his body collapse onto the rough surface, panting heavily and feeling quite a bit nauseous. He needed it to stop, all the memories, images. He needed to calm the fuck down; so he could picture fucking anyone doing those things to him, anyone, besides his god damned brother. A strangled cry crawled forth from the confines of his throat, and with extreme disgust for himself he pushed his body from the walk, taking shaky steps toward the well known path of a coffee shop a lot of kids visited. He got there soon enough; the boy was still pale and visibly shaken but he looked extremely better than previously. Elli walked up to the counter, ordering some kind of drink, he didn't really pay attention to what his mouth spoke out. He was pretty sure he said medium instead of venti or whatever the fuck it was as the barista frowned heavily at. Elli fished around in his pocket, withdrawing a small pill and popped the foreign substance into his mouth. It wasn't long before the beginning waves of oblivion started washing over him, and he closed his eyes in pure, undeniable bliss. He was inching towards a mindset where he would be free of that fucking pervert, here, in this askew world that he longed to escape to always. He liked this, he wasn't completely fucked up but his memories were starting to grow hazy, jumbled and incomprehensible. He was glad for that, at least, at let himself look more freely around the shop. Nothing too interesting was happening around him.

He hadn't had this bad of a panic attack in a while now and he felt uncomfortably vulnerable for that, like everyone knew he was doing everything he could so he wouldn't break down screaming. But they didn't, of course - they just wanted their goddamn coffee. Elli sighed roughly, biting at his thumb nail and letting the strong liquid flow ubiquitously down his throat every few minutes. He half wished someone he knew from school or something were here, or, hell with it, anyone. Someone maybe who could...he didn't even know what; accept him despite the fact that he was an abomination. He bit his lip hard, nobody like that existed who would even want to be on the same continent as him? He knew what his brothers dick tasted like for Christ's sake. He buried his head into his hands, letting fingers pull awkwardly at messy hair.

TAGGED / open<3
WORD COUNT / 631!
NOTES / badbadbad!
LYRICS / Do Or Die, Cold World

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[em]

outfit - click!

' Was today just national boring day?' was the thought that raced in Ambiance Lennon's head. She was becomming very antsy at in her room and she decided she was going to go out and go somthing dammit! She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror and made a slight grimaced face. Ambiance was looking pretty janky. Her hair was all messy and she looked like she has not bathed, which she had'nt, for a day atleast (she was'nt like disgusting or somthing like that!). So, to the showers she went. It was about five minutes later she was out, drying her hair and putting on her makeup. A small bit of blush, mascara, and eyeliner. That's all she wore on her face. She let her naturally curly hair downand ruffled it slightly to give it more volume. She nodded, happy with her look and went to the closet to find somthing to wear. Yes. it was slightly chilly outside but it was terrificly sunny. So, she picked out a very random outfit. Floral top, navy skirt and cardigan, brown belt, dark tights, and her favorite golden seahorse necklace. She soon placed these items of clothing onto her body and slipped on these dark brown boots on her small feet and sighed happily. She spayed a light amount of her strong orange flower perfume and grabbed her cell phone. She was going to walk down to starbucks, which was only fifthteen minutes away from her homely abode.

Bright blue eyes looked out her window to see the sun happily shining down upon earth, bringing a smile to her face. She grabbed her purse and was out of her room and out the door, locking her home behind her. She hummed a tune, just a song she was working on while she walked, smiling at people who passed by. Damn, this girl seemed too damn happy. She really was'nt though, she was just in a good mood. It was'nt long until the 4'11 tall girl walked into the door, smiling and waving at the workers, knowing them well for she came to this coffee shop alot. She went upa nd ordered a vanilla bean frappacino, her favorite. She yawned slightly as she recieved her order and she payed the cashier and sighed happily, turning around with the cup of sweet goodness in her hand. Her eyes scanned the room until they fell upon a familar body. fingers being dugg into a messy hairdo. She frowned, Elliot. She sat in the seat across from him, setting her drink down on the table as her other hand reached out and took one of his hands away from his head and let his thumb rub the top of his hand as she said softly "It happen again?" She knew he had panic attacks, she knew all about his problems, he knew all about hers.

[elliot]

* I sit alone in the basement,

FACING, CHASING THESE WICKED DEMONS.

______________

His mind was in a frenzied kaleidoscope of horrific images and he just wanted them to stop. He wasn't exactly registering all the patrons that were walking in and out of the shop and his eyes were fixed raptly on the tabletop before him. Fingers were trembling slightly and the boy drew in a deep breath before releasing, causing a few scattered napkins to flutter in the man made breeze. His leg was jumping up and down as he tapped his foot agitatedly against the floor; letting a mumbled curse escape from between his lips. Although the pill seemed to start calming his emotions, he was getting a bit jumpy. Although his life was exponentially better here, living with his aunt, he still wasn't exactly fond of it. Here he was anonymous, and he was fine with that, really, he only had a handful of friends but at least he knew he could trust them, or he thought he could anyway. His mind wandered over other subject, mainly the pile of homework he had scattered across his floor at home and his aunt threatening to send him back into therapy if he didn't get his shit together. Not exactly her wording, but whatever. He didn't hear the chair across from his sliding out with how engrossed in his own thoughts he was, and jumped when someone grabbed at his hand. Head snapped up and he yanked it back fiercely, shoving both of his hands under the table. He had a bit of a problem with any form of touching, it made him uncomfortable; though he felt bad after he heard the girls words and saw her face. Ambiance, his first friend at the high school. He usually allowed physical happenings between him such as holding hands or hugging, but she had taken him by surprise and he bit his lip, hoping he didn't hurt her feelings or anything.

She knew some things about him than others did. Such as the fact that he lived with his aunt and taken away from his family. He had never really told her why, it was too embarrassing, just that he'd had family problems there; he wasn't really sure what she assumed but he figured it was better than what really happened there, anyway. He'd told her he sometimes had panic attacks, as per her question. He nodded at her, looking away as he bit his cheek. "I'm getting better though, basically fine." He told her truthfully, letting his body relax as a hand gripped at his beverage that he had paid way too much for. He should have saved the money for more cigarettes, he was down to his last three. Elli frowned at the thought but this prompted him to ask the girl, "hey you got any spliff?" It was rare lately that he was allowed over ten dollars at a time, usually since he ended up buying cigarettes or weed and his aunt knew this. It was really starting to piss him off, to put it lightly. He had been buying one pill at a time with his lackluster allowance and it really wasn't that great, he liked being lost in mellow, not jittery like the shit he was on now. He shook his hair from his face before drinking more of the substance and asking "How are you though Bambi?" It was his own personal nickname for her as he usually declared that his was far more cute and less challenging to say. "find any guys you like yet?" He asked, knowing she was single. He knew this because she complained about it constantly to him, always asking if he had any friends who would be interested. His answer always pointed out that he didn't really have any friends and if she wanted to go smoke yet. So he probably wasn't the most entertaining person, but having to constantly block out most of your life made you a fairly uninteresting person.

TAGGED / ambiance<3
WORD COUNT / 661!
NOTES / hope you don't mind the nickname :b
LYRICS / Do Or Die, Cold World

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[em]

outfit - click!

It all seemed to happen so fast. He jumped, snatching his hand away from hers and slammed them away from her. She frowned, ouch; that hurt. But ofcourse, she knew that she probably threw him off, caught him off guard and frightened him. She gave an understanding smile to him as he looked up to have his hazel eyes meet hers. She took a sip of her drink, the coldness of it running down her firm throat. Oh, she remembered exactly the day she and him first met. It was actually the thrid day of school, and he was known as 'that new kid.' Known for skipping class, already becomming a trouble maker. She was walking in the empty hall way, after checking into school late and she was'nt looking where she was going and they collided. She fell back, as did he, and her books and all went a' flyin. All she could do was laugh, laugh so hard. He seemed so nervous and timid, all she did was give him a simple smile and say 'Well, I don't think I know you.' and there, it started a good friendship, now she would consider them pretty much best friends. She knew most of his issues, and though it was hard to believe, he knew all of her problems; for she had many. Self conscience, depression, and she just was really giving up on herself. They were there for eachother, to lean on for support and to pretty much use for therapy. she told him about her boy problems and sometimes family problems, and he told her his aunty problems and his friend problems. She knew he had many problems, but that's why she liked him so much; he was a beautiful mess to her. Yeah, it was true. She liked him, crushing wise. She could never ever let him know though! He probably would never feel that way towards her, so whenever he brought up boys with her, she always played it off cool and pretended like she didn't like anyone.

He spoke, making her shake out of her thoughts and brought those eyes back to his. She smiled as he told her he was getting better and she nodded "Good then! I was beginning to worry." She spoke, her british accent coaxed through her words. Elliot liked to tease her at times, as did so many other people about her accent; but it was funny and cute when Elliot did it, cause she knew he was just kidding. She arched a brow as he asked her a question, a smirk comming onto her glossed lips as she answered "Oh poppet, you know I always have me bag of inspiration with me." she said, patting her purse. Which was true, unless she was at school, if she was at school then it was hidden in her car. She had a little rasta colored hemp bag, which she called her 'inspiration bag.' She giggled lightly at herself, taking another long sip of her drink, loving it dearly. Her face scrunched up the way it did when it called her that little nickname of his, bambi. She loved it, it was adorable; though she didn't have a clue where he got such a name for a gal like her. She sighed as he brought up boys and she frowned, not only because she was dying to tell him how she felt, but because her feet didn't touch the damn floor for she was so short. She huffed and looked back up at him, for she was looking at her drink and she said "I'm fine, .... and boys.... I am interested in someone.. but he'd.. never like me like that, ya know?" she said, tilting her head slightly as she took another sip of her drink, damn it was so good.

[elliot]

* I sit alone in the basement,

FACING, CHASING THESE WICKED DEMONS.

______________

Elli rolled his eyes with a grin before speaking back, "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine, I always am." This wasn't exactly true; he wasn't fine, not really. Of course, at the end of the day he never got into anything such as self mutilation, or hard core drugs. He really didn't even get drunk too much. So in that retrospect he was fine. That didn't mean he was okay though, that he wasn't in constant agony mentally, just, he knew not to do anything stupid. His body had gone through enough damage already, why pile on more? It wasn't his style, really, he just wanted peace. Not that he'd throw all that onto her shoulders, in fact, he wasn't really all too aware of it himself. He didn't dwell on it, and although he had lived through what happened to him every single day, he hadn't actually accepted everything that happened to him, he had never once let himself think about it all, break down what had happened - and because of that, perhaps he was even more fragile, just waiting to tumble down a slope of self destruction. Not that he saw it, he was looking at the sky, not his feet after all. He let out a relieved grin at her next words, glad that they would have something to do later anyway.

His nickname for the girl was easy enough to explain, Just add a B to the beginning of her name and chop off the rest. Besides, he thought it fit her, with her wide blue eyes, like a doe, or something. He rolled his eyes at her words before leaning over and tugging at a strand of her dark brown hair, before musing it all up with a swipe of his hand. "Don't be such a downer Bambi, who is it? That kid in your math class? What's his name?" Elli didn't have the best knack at remembering trivial things like names, or even people Bambi had spoken of. He though she had spoken of someone in her math class, though he could have been wrong. He bit at the metal of his piercing on the inside of his lip. The boy looked over at his friend curiously for a moment before saying, "Hey Bambi, what's the point of all that stuff, anyway, relationships?" He asked, in a darkly curious fashion. "I mean, are they worth it...why...what's so great about them?" He looked at her dubiously; he had seen couples around forever, but nobody meant the things they did. He heard guys around school bragging for getting into a girls pants, they did it because it felt good, but was hat fair? To themselves even? It made Elli scared, and somewhat angry. How was any of it worth it? They could hurt you, trick you, use you - and you had no idea. Sure, maybe there was one person out there who would treat you nice, and actually love you, but was it worth it getting your heart so thoroughly mutilated in the process to go out looking for them?

TAGGED / Bambi<3
WORD COUNT / 517!
NOTES / I know it sucks hardcore :[ and sorry about the wait<3 /gives cookie.
LYRICS / Do Or Die, Cold World

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